A Little Friday File Fun

In Milville, New Jersey, a 33-year-old school bus aide complained that someone stole $400 from her. Authorities reviewed surveillance footage from the bus on which she worked, and saw her rummaging through students’ backpacks. She was seen stealing money and food from the three- to five-year-olds she was supervising. The aide has been fired.

In Atlanta, Georgia, researchers at Georgia Tech released results of a study that reveals the perfect eyelash length. According to the researchers, the ideal eyelash length is one-third the width of the eye—, anything shorter or longer than this increases the odds of getting dust and debris in the eye. In addition to analyzing animal hides from the American Museum of Natural History in New York, the researchers constructed a model eye and put it inside a wind tunnel to better understand the reasoning for the dimensions. “Eyelashes form a barrier to control airflow and the rate of evaporation on the surface of the cornea,” said lead study author Guillermo Amador, a researcher in mechanical engineering at Georgia Tech. “When eyelashes are shorter than the one-third ratio, they have only a slight effect on the flow. Their effect is more pronounced as they lengthen up until one-third. After that, they start funneling air and dust particles into the eye.”

In Augusta, Georgia, a family found out a man buried during a closed-casket funeral in December was not actually their loved one. The Augusta Chronicle quoted Burke County Coroner Susan Salemi as saying the lab didn’t return the man’s body after an autopsy. The body of another man was mistakenly returned and buried by relatives who thought they were laying their loved one to rest. Georgia Bureau of Investigation officials said it will retrieve the wrong body from the grave and pay for a new burial.

In Ottowa, Ontario, Canada, last week, legislator Pat Martin hurriedly ran out of the House of Commons during a vote. As members of Parliament began to rise one by one to vote, he bolted from the room, but was able to return in time to cast his vote. He later blamed his departure on an unwise purchase at a local store. “They had men’s underwear on for half price and I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me. I find it difficult to sit for any length of time,” he told the chamber to guffaws and applause from fellow legislators, according to Reuters.

In Bogata, Columbia, a 36-year-old woman previously known as Ladyzunga Cyborg (not her original name) has won a court battle to have her name changed. According to UPI, the woman says her government ID card now officially lists her first name as ABCDEFG HIJKLMN and her last name as OPQRST UVWXYZ. She said it took her a year of arguing with the Colombian National Registry to officially get her new name, which she chose for being unusual and hard to pronounce.