A Little Friday File Fun

In Kingsport, Tennessee, a woman at a Kmart jewelry counter used wire cutters to cut a security cable that was attached to a counter top display case. The case contained 37 separate pairs of earrings, valued at $249.99 each. The woman proceeded to load the approximately three feet tall glass container into her buggy, according to the Kingsport Times-News, and proceeded to wheel it out the front doors. She was abruptly stopped in the breezeway and escorted to an office, where police were called.

In Panama City Beach, Florida, a so-called “church” has lost its tax-exempt status. The News Herald of Panama City reports The Life Center: A Spiritual Community has been operating a seven-day-a-week party called Amnesia: The Tabernacle since February 28. The “church” was hosting na.ked paint parties and slumber-party Sundays featuring the “se.xiest ladies on the beach.” Patrons were charged a “donation” of $20 at the door. On the walls inside were T-shirts emblazoned with ob.scene gestures and signs that say “I hate being so.ber.”

In Lakeland, Florida, a woman walked around the crossing gates and into the path of a passing freight train. The woman was clipped by the train and tossed into the air. She suffered a compound fracture to her right arm and her right leg was also injured, according to the Orlando Sentinel. She told police she did not hear the train horn and did not see the crossing arms down when she crossed; she was texting.

In Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, police approached a man who had stepped into traffic. He claimed he was walking erratically because he was trying to avoid stepping in dog poo on the sidewalk, but police say he seemed to be under the influence, according to the Associated Press. When officers tried to arrest him, he dropped to the ground and rolled in the waste, telling officers they couldn’t arrest him because he was covered in poo. They arrested him for public dru.nkeness.

In Milton, Georgia, police said three 17-year-olds were seen with a 16-year-old accomplice stealing a pet goat from the owner’s home. A witness called 911 and the teens were pulled over with the goat still in the back of their pickup truck. The police report said one of the teens told officers he wanted to use the goat as a prop to ask a girl, “would you goat with me to prom?” A Milton police captain told a local news station, “Well, you know, it’s quite possible that these teens didn’t realize the severity of what they were doing.”

In Regensburg, Germany, archaeologists announced the discovery of a 250-year-old pretzel dubbed “the oldest ever found.” Silvia Codreanau-Windauer of the Bavarian State Bavarian Bureau for the Conservation of Historic Monuments said the pretzel was found alongside other baked goods including rolls and a croissant dough during an archaeological dig last summer, according to the UPI.