Out of the Mouths of Babes

March 10, 2009 (PLANSPONSOR (b)lines) - Kids can say the darndest things, and are learning at every age through experience - even learning things in school besides academics. Some of their wisdom is funny, and some can really make you stop and think.

Here are some great quotes from children taken from “Wit & Wisdom” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. – Rutledge Hill Press. (I couldn’t resist putting my two cents in on some of them.)

On Family

  • My little brother’s dirty diapers are worse than liver. – Matt, age 11
  • My grandmother can say more in a sentence than a college professor can say in an hour and a half. – Angela, age 14 (as can my mother, my father, and a couple of aunts and uncles)
  • You should never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.  – Angela, age 12
  • If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. Parents always catch the second person. – Michael, age 10
  • When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. – Morgan, age 11 (same goes for your hairdresser, I’ve learned)
  • It seems like the oldest one always gets in trouble even if she didn’t do it. – Sally, age 11 (I have some personal experiences with this one.)
  • You should never tell your parents when you’re curious about girls because many lectures will come in the future. – Reza, age 12

On School

  • Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.– Tiffany, age 13 (especially about other people)
  • The boys’ restroom smells, but the girls’ restroom doesn’t. – Devin, age 10 (true at home, in school, the mall…)
  • All the bad things I’ve heard about algebra are true. – Erin, age 14
  • You can’t catch a hard baseball in your mouth. – Joseph, age 10 (or in your eye socket)
  • When teachers get old, like over fifty-five, they’re always in a bad mood. – Lindsay, age 8
  • When you want to stay home from school, you have to stay in the bathroom a long, long time. – Joseph, age 11
  • When teachers are mad, they don’t blink. – William, age 12
  • Food
  • They put certain things in cafeteria food, so I don’t eat there anymore.  – Kristen, age 9
  • You should never order seafood at a hamburger joint in Nebraska. – Chad, age 11
  • You should never sneeze with a chewed-up bite in your mouth. It’s a nasty experience. – Amanda, age 14 (It’s amazing what can come out of your nostrils!)
  • I can slurp a slurpie through my nose. – Holly, age 12
  • School lunches stick to the wall. – Patrick, age 10
  • Putting your vegetables on your little sister’s plate doesn’t work. – Nicole, age 11
  • I sometimes get a craving for chocolate chip ice cream that cannot be controlled. – Rebecca, age 11
  • I’ve learned that goldfish don’t like jello. – Jlie Ann, age 9

General Wisdom

  • You should always listen to older people. They are like living history boods and can teach you so much.  – Cindy, age 13 (Write it down, video tape it, you’ll want it later.)
  • Life is hard no matter how old you are. – Rosalinda, age 13
  • A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. – Megan, age 14
  • Someone is always better than you in one thing, but you are better than them in another. – Alecia, age 12
  • You will never be happy if all you do is think about all the things you don't have. - Christy, age 17
  • 99% of the time things aren't nearly as bad as you first thought they were.  - Jessica, age 15
  • Piano lessons can make fifteen minutes feel like an hour. - Jack, age 9
  • Even though people claim to know what you're going through or dealing with, they don't. - Jaimee, age 14
  • If you want something in a cereal box and it looks really big, it always turns out small and crummy. - Katie, age 9
  • You should never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble. - Ann, age 15 (Amen!)
  • When you lick a slug, your tongue goes numb. - Bethany, age 11
  • No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats! - Laura, age 13
  • You should never mess with a kid that beat you up once already. - Dannie, age 10 (Or mess with someone who used you, cheated you, fooled you.)
  • The smaller the print on things, the more important it is. - Julie, age 12
  • Some of the most fun I've ever had was after my curfew. - Elise, age 14
  • Being late is better than getting a fifty dollar speeding ticket. - Laurence, age 14
  • It's not a good idea to spit while on a roller coaster. - Scott, age 11 (or out of the car window when the person behind you has their window open)
  • One of the best ways to find out about a person's character is to play Monopoly with them. - Ellana, age 15
  • You never open an umbrella in the car. - Ryan, age 7
  • If you sleep in your clothes, you won't have to get dressed in the morning. - Stephanie, age 8 ½
  • You shouldn't pull off the emergency brake in a car on a steep driveway. - Jeremy, age 12
  • Life is filled with ups and downs but most of the time I'm going sideways. - Leslie, age 11 (I know the feeling.)
  • Going a little crazy sometimes and doing something out of the ordinary is almost always rewarding. - Dawn, age 14
  • Moving is one way of getting my room clean. - Russell, age 10 (or your house)
  • It takes more energy to be mad or sad than it does to be happy. - Jaymin, age 15
  • You shouldn't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. - Adrienne, age 12
  • If you give your dad money for gas, you'll never get paid back. - Shawn, age 12 (not from your 20-year old son either)
  • It's tough to be a kid, but even tougher to be a good kid. - David, age 9
  • No matter how much you think you need it, don't borrow money! - Amy, age 12 (Someone should have listened to Amy before the mortgage and credit crisis.)
  • You can tell what kind of personality a person has by what kind of shoes they wear. - Brittany, age 14 (a creed of many women)
  • No matter how old you are, you always think that there may be something hiding under the bed.  - Monica, age 13 (or in the closet)
  • Dogs and mothers will love you no matter what. - Heather, age 16 (or, as I've learned, no one on Earth will love you like your mother does)
  • The world is a wonderful place and everyone should shut up and enjoy it every once in a while. - Sarah, age 12