Well, here’s a thousand (or so) worth…
In Berlin, Germany , Birgül Balta, 49, was cutting potatoes for French fries at her home – – – when the cross-shaped cavity inside one of the spuds stopped her cold – – – revealing what is now being called “the miracle of Berlin-Charlottenburg” – – – two perfect crosses – – – ironically, she’s a Muslim – – – you can see it online at http://www.thelocal.de/articleImages/11747.jpg
- - - In Chattanooga, Tennessee , an as-yet-unnamed man pulled up to the drive-in at the Perimeter Place Regions Bank here - - - put what he described as a bomb in the deposit tube - - - and demanded money - - - he didn't get it - - - and then, realizing that he was no longer in possession of his weapon - - - was forced to drive away - - -
- - - Near Yonkers, New York , Michael Garcia, 19, strolled up to a car here - - - reached into the driver-side window, grabbed the man sitting there - - - and demanded money - - - but the car turned out to be an unmarked police car - - - and the driver, an undercover officer - - -
- - - In Ellicott City, Maryland , Robert Allen Flanagan, 38, walked into the Bank of America branch here - - - told bank workers that he had come for a routine armored car pickup - - - and an employee handed him two bags containing nearly $200,000 - - - turns out that Robert wasn't employed by the Dunbar Armored security firm whose uniform he was wearing - - - though he had been (he kept the uniform) - - - moreover he made the rounds at several businesses, picking up hundreds of thousands of dollars along the way - - -
- - - In Copiague, New York , Frank Patti, 26, rode by the police car at a service station here one evening - - - made an "obscene gesture" to two officers in the car - - - popped a wheelie - - - and then sped away - - - police gave chase - - - and when Frank turned into a parking lot - - - he crashed into a police car that had joined the chase - - -
- - - In Eureka, California , Daniel G. Jarrette, 21, called police to report that three armed men had broken into his house, tied him (and a female companion) up and locked them in a bathroom - - - when police arrived, they discovered that Daniel not only had three outstanding felony warrants from Virginia for conspiracy to sell mar.ijuana, larceny and money laundering - - - he also had in his house 65 mari.juana plants, two pounds of processed mari.juana and four pounds of recently harvested marij.uana - - -
- - - In Danbury, Connecticut , five teenagers decided to get "medieval" on a 112-year old "castle" here - - - a mansion that was surrounded by a seven-foot fence, has a locked gate and several no trespassing - - - fortunately for police, the teenagers videotaped their "exploits - - - and posted it online - - - you can watch at http://firstname.lastname@example.org
- - - In Manchester, New Hampshire , an unnamed 23-year old drew the attention of a Cumberland Farms clerk here - - - when she pulled into the parking lot - - - with a "No Parking" sign and post stuck to the front end of her car - - - and fell asleep - - -
- - - In Eastampton, New Jersey , Joseph Russell, 47, was applying rubbing alcohol to his body - - - when he accidentally dropped his cigarette - - - with what can certainly best be described as "predictable results" - - -
- - - And finally, in Grand Junction, Alabama , Cody Sellards and Timothy Long were trying to steal gas from Hank Ibarra's boat here early one morning - - - they were having trouble seeing how much gasoline their efforts had garnered - - - so they peered inside - - - with a cigarette lighter - - - with what can surely best be described as "predictable results" - - -
CAUTION: Bad language. It's still "funny" ("funny" assuming you enjoy watching people doing stupid things to themselves, of course) without the sound, however.
If you can't see the image below, or are having trouble accessing it, try
CAUTION: Bad language. It's still "funny" without the sound, however.
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