A Little Friday File Fun

In Fruitland Park, Florida, a man called 911 to report a harassing phone call he received. While on the phone, he told the dispatcher he had big muscles and asked her if she was single. The Orlando Sentinel reports that the dispatcher commented to the man that he sounded dru.nk, and he hung up. However, he called back two more times and asked if the dispatcher was single. Police found the man and arrested him for making the bogus 911 calls. But, the man was not done. When police placed him in handcuffs, he allegedly told an officer he wanted to head bu.tt the officer and kill him. Then, he spit onto an officer’s head and said he would kill the officer.

In Uniontown, Pennsylvania, a man reported to the police station to be fingerprinted for a charge of drun.ken driving he received for causing an accident in January. According to the Associated Press, he drove there, and was dru.nk.

In Vigo, Galacia, Spain, a woman has been claiming ownership of part of the sun since 2010 when she threatened to bill solar power users. The 54-year-old registered the star in her name at a notary office in Spain, before opening an eBay account selling square-metre plots for one euro each. Two years later, eBay pulled her listings, saying they violated its intangible goods policy, and her account was blocked. She threatened to sue, and now one Spanish court has recognized her claim. According to sky News, a trial will take place next month, with the woman demanding around £7,500 for payments she says she has not received. She has rejected an attempt by eBay to settle the case out of court.

In Cape Coral, Florida, a man climbed atop a marked sheriff’s office SUV and performed a dance routine to songs including Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl” and Supertramp’s “Goodbye Stranger.” He was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace and criminal mischief. He told deputies a “woman with fangs” came to his door and told him a human sacrifice involving vampires was imminent. “Therefore, [he] made the conscious decision to get the Sheriff of Nottingham to help him stop the slaughter of small children,” the Cape Coral police report of the April 7 incident states, according to UPI.

In New York, New York, a man whose first name is God has settled a lawsuit with a credit reporting agency that had refused to recognize his name as legitimate. Under the agreement reached in Brooklyn federal court, Equifax will enter the man’s name into its database, the Associated Press reports. He now has an impressive 820 credit score. The Russian native is a Brooklyn jewelry store owner who is named after his grandfather. He says it’s a relatively common name in Russia.

In Sargodha, Pakistan, eyewitnesses say two alleged sui.cide bom.bers were sitting on benches in a street close to a roundabout with vests on, and had a discussion that soon turned into an altercation. BGR Media reports that during the fist fight, one of the vests exploded, killing one of the suspected bom.bers and injuring the other. No one else was injured.

In Beijing, China, a man filed a lawsuit against a television show actress who he says stared at him too intensely through his TV set. The man claims the gaze caused him spiritual damage. The Associated Press report about the lawsuit says regulations making it more difficult for courts to reject lawsuits took effect May 1.

In St. Johnsbury, Vermont, a man showed up on time for jury duty and joined other prospective jurors before the start of the selection process. According to the Associated Press, deputies directed him to an empty court room to meet with the judge. The judge told him he could be held in contempt of court, but instructed him to leave, because he was wearing a prisoner costume. The man said the juror instructions do not specify clothing restrictions.

I bet this teacher, who is retiring this year, won’t be spending retirement in a rocking chair.

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Crashing through your garage door is an odd bucket list item, but I can see how this would be fun.

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In Raleigh, North Carolina, a little girl OWNS IT during a dance routine to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.”

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