A Little Friday File Fun

In Hudson, New York, police broke into a parked car to rescue what looked like an unresponsive elderly woman, who passersby feared had frozen to death. But after smashing the window of the Subaru, officers were relieved to find the “woman” was actually just an “extremely realistic” life-sized mannequin, reports the Albany Times Union. The vehicle’s owner later returned and revealed he is a sales manager for a medical training aid manufacturer, and that the oxygen mask-wearing mannequin he’d strapped into the passenger seat is a CPR training device. He was not happy about the damage done to his Subaru.

In Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, a woman stole a $2,700 baby Jesus from a Nativity scene. According to the Associated Press, police say she went to the hospital just minutes after stealing the figurine, and left a note with the porcelain baby that read, in part, “Child has broken right foot which is been (sic) neglected. Parents Joseph and Mary Christ got a warning.” She is jailed on charges of theft and institutional vandalism.

In Menomonie, Wisconsin, a police officer pulled over a speeding driver. Inside the car was a University of Wisconsin-Stout student who was very agitated. “I have to get a tie tied,” he told the officer, according to KMSP TV. “I have a presentation and I thought my buddy was home but he’s not, and I’m running behind.” So, the officer helped the student fix his tie and sent him off to his presentation with a warning.

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, in a bit of irony, the New Mexico Department of Health says dozens of its employees became sick after its holiday party. The New Mexican reports that about 70 staff members say they had gastrointestinal issues after the luncheon last week. A spokesman says more than 200 employees attended the catered luncheon. Investigators have not identified a specific contaminated food.