SURVEY SAYS: How Much Time Do You Spend With Your Kids?

June 15, 2006 (PLANSPONSOR.com) - Well, if that CareerBuilder survey data is to be believed, not only would Dad like to spend more time with the kids - he'd even be willing to take a pay cut to do so.

Still, I’d say that most of us (at least the ones who are parents) are always a bit worried that we aren’t spending as much time with our kids as we’d like.   This week I asked readers how their time with their kids compared with the time their parents spent with them.

A robust 40% of this week’s respondents claimed to be spending more time with their kids than they enjoyed with their parents as kids themselves.   In fact, a significant number of these respondents said they spent “way more” time with their kids, including the reader who said, “I believe my husband and I spend WAY more time with our kids than our parents ever did.   I would like to think this is the ‘right’ amount of time, but I have no idea.”  Another noted, “Even divorced and having my kids three days/week, I spend infinitely more time with them than my father did with me…. zero is easy to beat.”  Or, as one noted, “I have four children, and my parents had eight.   So, I can say I spend twice as much time with any of my children, can’t I?” 

In point of fact, the difficulties in comparing the experiences – and certainly the expectations – of the different generations was evident in many of this week’s responses.   One reader observed, “This is a hard survey to answer, since we are talking about completely different times of child rearing.”   Another recalled , “When I was a kid, my mother cooked dinner, my father came home, and then we all watched the one TV together after our homework was done. – that was it.   Today in my household   of four (two adults and   two older kids), we have four motor vehicles, four cell phones, one land line, four computers, one i-pod, game boys/CD players , four   TVs, DVD/ VCR players,   etc.    After dinner (we rarely eat together, and often it’s take out) each heads off to their own devices and interests.”  Yet another noted, “We joke that our ‘quality time’ with our fathers consisted of standing beside the TV and turning the channels until he found one he wanted to watch.” 

“It seems I was always taking my kids somewhere; sports, school activities, social events, church events, vacations to Disney World, etc .,” recalled another.  “But when I think back on the different culture I was brought up in during the 50’s and 60’s, I have to reconsider and confess that the honest answer is b (not as much time).   Although there weren’t as many structured activities for kids and their parents to participate in, we did a lot more as a family in which the family, not the event, was the focus.”  

Still, roughly 14% said they spent the same amount of time – “Overall, I think our kids probably get as much parent time as I had when I was a kid, but it’s definitely more balanced between mom and dad,” noted one.   Another noted, “My husband and I have an unusual situation where he watches our son during the day and I take over at night, so we c) spend about the same amount of time with him as our parents did with us.   As a mother of a very active one-year-old boy, I enjoy coming to work to relax….”

Nearly 16% said they spent the “right” amount of time, even if it was different than their childhood experiences – or, as one noted, “the right amount of time, but more importantly the right kind of time.”  Still, another respondent wondered, “They grow up so fast, is it ever really ‘right’?  About 13% said they are spending less time with their kids (generally because when they were growing up, there was a stay-at-home parent, and many of these were part of households with two parents working outside the home), and the remaining 15% were split between respondents who either didn’t have kids, no longer had kids at home, or who had “kids” with four legs and fur (one noted, “The reason may be that they are so darn adorable. Then again, it may also be because they don’t talk back, won’t ask for the car keys or for a car when they turn 16, or require college tuition”).

Once again, your perspectives were a priceless assortment of experiences, successes – and challenges.   Here’s a sampling:

“My mother stayed at home and my father was a small business owner – I spend less time with my son than my mother but a lot more time than my father.   Fortunately, I waited to have children so I don’t feel I am missing out on anything socially or personally.   I believe that if you have a good social life, you are a lousy parent.”

“We coach, we volunteer at school, and we have dinner together at the table at least five times a week. We’re never home, our house is a wreck, and I do laundry in the middle of the night.   However, those kids are only going to think we’re heroes for a very brief time.   They will be our priority for as long as they will allow!”  

“As a working mother of two daughters under two with a husband also working full time, neither of us feel we get enough ‘quality’ time with our girls. However, we do get plenty of ‘awake’ time, which unfortunately mostly happens between 2 and 6 a.m.”  

“I spend more time with my kids than my parents did.   But I also spend a lot more time at work than my parents did.   Since there are only 24 hours in a day both now and then, it just means I get a lot less sleep and less private time than my parents.”

“The funny thing is that both my parents now spend a HECK of a lot more quality time with my son than they ever did with me and my siblings or than I can with my son.”  

“My youngest complains that I don’t spend enough time with her, the middle one wants nothing to do with me (other than to take her shopping), and my eldest is begging me to give her driving lessons (she just turned 16), which I am stalling on as long as I possibly can. So if I take the composite on a nonweighted average, I guess it would be “d: Spend the right amount of time.”  

But this week’s Editor’s Choice goes to the reader who noted, “Ok, I say that (a) my wife and I spend more time with our three boys than my parents did with me; however, my wife would say (b) we spend less time with our three boys than her parents did with her; however, some days I say we (e) don’t spend any time with them, because we have three boys, and I just have to lock them in their rooms!!!”

Thanks to everyone who participated in our survey!

Answer a.   I spend a lot more time with my kids than my parents did and I too would stay at home rather than work.


A-spend more time with them.   This is especially true of my husband.   He grew up in a very traditional home…Mom stayed home and Dad had a high paying job.   Dad never went to any games or anything because he was working.   My husband always talks about that and has taken the total opposite approach…parent, guide, mentor, tutor, soccer coach, baseball coach, football coach.   Not only when they were little either…my son is 17 or his father is the team's Mickey Mantle Coach.   Not sure if my son is too happy :)!!!  


"When it comes to spending time with your kids, do you

(e) Don't spend any time with them (don't have kids, or perhaps don't have kids at home)

However, if I lived closer to my grandchildren, I would answer that I'd spend more time with them than I did with my own children.   Grandchildren are a wonderful thing -- when they aren't 3,000 miles away.


c. I try to spend as much time as I can, but they are teenagers now and have lives of their own.


Survey:   (d)

My mom was a stay-at-home mom, so my brothers and I spent lots of time with her.   However, we hardly saw dad (he had his own business and worked a lot of hours).   My husband and I both work fulltime outside the home, but also make as much time as we can for our kids.   Overall, I think our kids probably get as much parent time as I had when I was a kid, but it's definitely more balanced between mom and dad.


For the survey.....my husband and I have an unusual situation where he watches our son during the day and I take over at night, so we c) spend about the same amount of time with him as our parents did with us.   As a mother of a very active one year old boy, I enjoy coming to work to relax......


Female responder.   While married, my husband spent absolutely -0- time with our children, if you rule out the mandatory staying with them when I was out when they were little.   But I'd be willing to bet that he would indicate either (a) or (c) in response to your survey (we were only recently divorced).

My own response - the right amount of time, but more importantly the right kind of time.   I "played" with my kids a great deal, and still do (water fights, wrestling, putt-putt golf), but I never lost sight of the fact that I was their mom first. At 19 and 21 I can NOW treat my children more as "friends" and let them be the independent adults that I spent the last 2 decades raising them to be.   They are neither dependent on me to manage their lives nor adverse to spending time with me as equals.


My youngest complains that I don't spend enough time with her, the middle one wants nothing to do with me (other than to take her shopping), and my eldest is begging me to give her driving lessons (she just turned 16), which I am stalling on as long as I possibly can. So if I take the composite on a non-weighted average, I guess it would be "d: Spend the right amount of time."  


Definitely (a), even if only by the numbers.   I have 4 children, and my parents had 8.   So I can say I spend twice as much time with any of my children, can't I?


My answer to your survey would have to be (d) spend the "right" amount of time with your kids, even if it is different than your parents did with you, but they grow up so fast, is it ever really "right"?


Survey says answer - A - more time with kids than parents did.   My husband is a great father.   We joke that our "quality time" with our fathers consisted of standing beside the TV and turning the channels until he found one he wanted to watch.   Our children don't even know how thankful they should be for remote control!!!   Have a good day!!!


I am lucky enough to answer this survey with choice a) spend more time with my children than my father did with me and my sister.   My father, an Italian immigrant, worked a blue-collar, six-day-per-week factory job to keep us afloat.   To this day, I still don't know how he did it, or how he managed to support us on his hourly wage.   Now that I'm a father of two, as he was, I can very much appreciate his hard work.   I, on the other hand, work a white-collar, computer-based office/home job where I am free to telecommute as I choose, which is the main reason I can spend so much time with my family.   Although that means that I work more hours than I would in a 9-5 office job (because I am "on call" 24/7 and "online" just about as much), I see that as a positive trade-off in my case.   Of course, the plug on that freedom may be pulled at any time, so I make the most of it while I can.   I only need this flexible job for about 10 more years!   Do you think I'll make it?

As a relatively new father (my son is 15 months old), I try to spend as much time as possible, so I guess the answer is (c), the same as my folks spent with me.   My wife is a stay at home Mom, but if she could earn as much as me, I would gladly stay home with my son (we both have college degrees).   Interestingly, my wife and I are both 28 and find that our friends and colleagues with children are much more likely to have at least one parent stay at home full time as compared to those just a few years older than us.   I think the pendulum has begun to swing back from Generation X's obsession with possessions to our Generation's emphasis on family...at least in my neck of the woods.

Thanks for the daily emails.   I'm in the financial planning business, helping your main audience achieve their goal of providing their employees excellent retirement plans and resources.   Your daily emails are very insightful into the problems plan sponsors face.


A. But would also choose F and stay home in an instant if I could swing it.   I know my husband feels the same way. But it is our first child and he is only 5 months. Ask again in 1.7 years! Or again in 15.7 years :0)


I spend more time with my kids than my parents did.   But I also spend a lot more time at work than my parents did.   Since there are only 24 hours in a day both now and then, it just means I get a lot less sleep and less private time than my parents.


My answer is (b).   At 34, I am a mother for the first time, I feel so guilty that I do not spend that much time with my 4 month old.   I drop her off at 7:15 a.m. to my sister to watch and don't pick her up until around 6:00.   She's usually asleep by 9 p.m. - so we get very little time together.   My parents spent as much time with us as they could, but they worked quite a bit and worked over a lot.   They had to - to support 4 kids.   As I look back it is very easy to remember the basketball or other sporting/extra-curricular activities that were missed by your parents, because they had to make a living. I recently talked to my dad about this and he got pretty upset that I brought it up, because he felt that he had to work the long hours to give us everything we wanted.   I tried to explain that I don't hold it against them, you just remember it...I don't want it to be that way with my daughter.


I would say (c).   My Dad believed in the family making time to spend with each other and I guess it stuck with me.   My children are adults, 26 and 29.   They are both working and still live at home.   (My Mom lives with us too).   We find a few minutes to chat each day and sit down to dinner together at least once a week which is when we catch up with each other, tease each other and just enjoy the fact that we have each other.   Every one is busy these days, but we all have to choose what is most important to us and for me the choice is simple, it's my family.   I'm not rich in material items, but I'm rich with love and support from my family.   I'm the richest woman around!


F) Other.   As a working mother of 2 daughters under 2 with a husband also working full time, neither of us feels we get enough "quality" time with our girls. However, we do get plenty of "awake" time, which unfortunately mostly happens between 2-6am.   Yet, as challenging as it is juggling work and family, I'd choose working over staying home any day of the week.   Being a stay at home Mom is way harder than going to an office every day.  


This is a hard survey to answer, since we are talking about completely different times of child rearing.   However, I will say (b).

My stay at home Mother and my working Grandparents spent a lot of time with me.   Since my Dad had his own business, he worked quite a bit when I was young.   This, however, was not a bad thing because he is the crabbiest man on earth.   We call him the "PITA."   "Pain in the ......," you get the picture.   In fact, if you look up the word "curmudgeon" in the dictionary, you will see his picture.   Ha..ha...

As a working Mother, I spend less time with my children than my Mother did, so I try to make an effort to actually spend some time with them.   This is actually a hard task to accomplish since I have so little time to run errands, clean etc..   I know that my children would prefer me to be home more.   My husband spends more time with our children than my father did.   However, he had a Dad that was more involved, so his experiences and role model were different than mine.   However, since I work, I expect him to spend time with the kids more.

My childhood memories include riding bikes, baseball games, going to the neighborhood park, swimming, mostly without adult supervision.   One thing I would NEVER let my children do now.   I know that my children will have fond memories of


even divorced and having my kids 3 days / week, spend infinitely more time with them then my father did with me.... zero is easy to beat.


I'm sorry to say it's (b), even though they had 7 of us. A good part of that is that my father had an 8:15 to 5 office job that really was 8:15 to 5, and never more than a 20 minute commute. I don't remember him ever going into the office on a weekend. I generally leave the house at 5:30 am and get home at 7 or 7:30, and spend a few hours working on the weekend. Work has changed the time equation. I suppose that's a choice I make, but the options to work fewer hours are fewer than 40 years ago. Another factor is that our kids' lives have more scheduled activities than was the case long ago. Certainly, a parent is generally driving to and from these activities, but if you have 2 or more kids the parents are often heading in different directions with them, leaving less time for whole family activities. My kids never seem very enthusiastic when we plan an activity for the whole family, but I've noticed that those are the times when they get along with each other the best.


Ok, I say that (a) my wife and I spend more time with our 3 boys than my parents did with me, however my wife would say (b) we spend less time with our 3 boys than her parents did with her, however some days I say we (e) don't spend any time with them, because we have 3 boys, and I just have to lock them in their rooms!!!


At first I was sure the answer was a).   I mean it seems I was always taking my kids somewhere; sports, school activities, social events, church events, vacations to Disney World, etc.   But when I think back on the different culture I was brought up in during the 50's and 60's, I have to reconsider and confess that the honest answer is b).   Although there weren't as many structured activities for kids and their parents to participate in, we did a lot more as a family in which the family, not the event, was the focus.  

One simple example, the closest time I would have with my father was at extended family gatherings when I would sit on the old "crank" ice cream freezer while my father would crank.   It was an opportunity to just talk, when that was not the typical thing for a son and father to do in the 1950s South...Would that my son and I could have had that experience, rather than riding Space Mountain.


I would say D. is my answer.   I am a working mom and my mom stayed home when I was young.   I think that working is the right answer for me.   I work 5 hours each day.   I enjoy spending part of my day at work and still have the chance to spend the afternoon with my kids.   I was able to find a very good day-care center less than a mile from my office and I never imagined how much my kids would learn there.   They enjoy going to school each day and love to tell me about their day when I pick them up.


I would have to say I spend more time than my parents did.   My father is a workaholic when we were younger we'd go on vacations he'd have conference calls and was always checking voicemail, to this day he still goes into work on a Sunday mornings and works from 6 PM until 7 PM during the week.   I work fulltime; my husband works PT and is home during the day with the kids so he gets to spend a little more time with them than I do. But I refuse to do the same as my father, when I come home from work or go on vacation, work is the last thing on my mind, my two young children are the first!


a 🙂   (More time than my father did).   Mom was a stay at home with 6 children.   My wife is a stay at home mom with one child who is home schooled. Wife spends way too much time some days.   I usually get home much earlier then my father and seldom work weekends compared to him.  

But, if you ask my son, I do not spend enough time with him being multiplaying certain games.   I am an easy target.  


As a fairly new step-mom (2 years) of a teen age boy, we spend half time with him.   That's enough.   He's a good kid, but how do you put up with all the noise he makes, not to mention the mess, and what about the smell?   I guess I was pretty comfortable with my childless life.


My kids are grown, but I spent more time with them than my parents did with me and I also spend more time with my grandchildren than my grandparents did with me. Although I do live closer to them than my grandparents did to me.  


Other, I think. We spend a lot of time together, and probably the same amount of time my mom spent with me. The difference, however, is that my mom was playing board games and, as I got older, talking with me over cups of tea (which we still do today, only now it's usually over the phone); I'm spending time my (3) children running errands and trying to keep the household together. When I'm not doing that, I'm working to help my husband pay our bills…so I'm afraid I'm not spending the time I need to with them. I want them to remember playing games and having chats over tea with me the same way I do with my mom. Only, I'm not sure how to do that and pay the bills and get everything else done that is always needing to get done…perhaps I just solved my own dilemma.


Survey Response: "a".

Even though my mom "stayed home with the kids" and my husband and I both work, I find that I do indeed spend more time with the kids than my parents did.   By "time" I mean time where I am paying attention to what they say, am interested in what they are doing, will take time to play what they want to play, etc.   I guess some call this "quality time".   Maybe because I work, I make the extra effort to put the kids first, above all else when we are together.   As a result, both my husband and I are much closer to our kids, than we were to our parents.


I (b) spend less time with my kids since my mom stayed home with my brother and me until we were 13 and 8 yrs respectively. My spouse and I work FT. We can never know if (D) we are spending the right amount of time. Although every non-working hour is prioritized for the kids, the bills have to be paid. This is a constant struggle that adds to the working parent guilt. You just accept your circumstances and keep going. I'm sure we'll pay for plenty of therapy later (both for them and us), regardless of the hours we spend together.


a) I remember avoiding time with my mom.   Our son actually likes spending time with us (Praise God!. He's 19 and will be a sophomore in college) and is even known to turn off his cell phone when eating with us.   Of course, that's in limited quantities and he still goes out to hang with his friends after dinner.   A whole evening at home might be TOO much.

(f) Our youngest is age 26 and all have left the nest some years ago.

I would think that I spent more time with my kids than my father did with me.   That is more recreational time, coaching and or managing their soccer teams, vacations, etc.

I grew up on a family farm so my father was both boss and father.   He did spend a lot of time with us, but it was all work and very little play.


I would have to say both "A" and "C."

During the week, I spend about as much time with my son as my father spent with me, but on the weekends, I get to spend more time with my son then my father spent with me.   Since my father was a physician and a business man (he ran an HMO), his schedule required time away from home during the week as well as the weekends.   

Now don't assume this is a good thing, because it's not.   My son was asked by his Kindergarten teacher to write down what he liked the most about his father.   Do you know what he wrote?   "I like it best when my daddy comes home."   Wow!   What a wake up call.


for the survey.....my husband and I have an unusual situation where he watches our son during the day and I take over at night, so we c) spend about the same amount of time with him as our parents did with us.   As a mother of a very active one year old boy, I enjoy coming to work to relax......


(c)   I think that given the facts that as kids 1. most of us were able to go out and play without parental supervision and 2. had far fewer organized commitments that required driving time, it is about a wash.   As a child, most days I was outside or otherwise occupied until the dinner bell summoned us in.   On a typical day now, my children and I have each other's captive attention (or are held captive?) for at least an hour in the car going from ball park to hockey rink to scouting.   In my family, the dad role has changed dramatically. My husband, who coaches various teams and also helps with scouting, spends much more time with the children than any father I recall of our parents' generation.


How to answer this? It's the parents as a unit that makes this tough to answer. I spend less time than my mother, who was a stay at home mom, did. But probably about as much time as my dad, maybe a little less.


e - unless you count my two "children" that have four paws and fluffy tails.   Spending time with them is at THEIR convenience - usually between naps or when it's time for their can of food to be opened.


I have to say (f) other.   My son and his girlfriend recently moved in with us while waiting for their loft to get ready (their lease was up before loft was available).   I can honestly say I am seeing way too much of my "child".   We are counting the days (15) until they are gone!!!


E.   My only kids are the four-legged variety but I still feel guilty when I don't spend enough time with them.   One thing I know for sure is that no matter if the amount of time I spend with them is too much or too little, they won't be writing a letter to Dr. Phil about me!  


(C)... I think.   Although, since that my parents owned a family business for about half of my upbringing, I spent most of my time with them at "the office".


Definitely A...I spend more time with my children than my parents did with us (four children).   I have two daughters so by cutting the number in half maybe it gave me more opportunities to spend one-on-one time with my daughters.  


I think I probably (d) spend the "right" amount of time with my kid, even if it's different than what my parents did.   I don't get summer vacations (mom's a teacher) or have to worry about middle of the night calls (dad's a doc) but I definitely have a job that I'm committed to that can require overnight travel and working from home. While my schedule may be different, my belief that family gets priority for most situations is the same.   Childhood is fleeting, work is not.


Survey response - I guess (b) because Mom didn't work during summer breaks etc., whereas I have a FT career.   The difference though is that I spend a lot more of the shorter amount of time I have with my son interacting with him.   The funny thing is that both my parents now spend a HECK of a lot more quality time with my son than they ever did with me and my siblings or than I can with my son.  


I'm second of 6 and individual attention was never in the schedule. In the end I decided this was good as Mom never knew what I was up to. As an Annapolis grad, Dad was usually floating around the Pacific & hardly ever around. I'm both Mom & Dad to my daughter (now grown) & we spent a lot of time together-it was just us. Now I've a dog & we're mostly inseparable except I have to work & since we've been bought out our worksite is not pet friendly. pity.

C.   About the same amount of time, when you consider that my growing up family had a total of four kids close in age and a stay at home mom who was often focused on laundry, cleaning, cooking and just keeping order while trying to manage a tight budget.   As a working parent, I can afford to "outsource" the cleaning and laundry so that when I am home, I am really focused on my kids and I only have two.  


I believe my husband and I spend WAY more time with out kids than our parents ever did.   I would like to think this is the "right" amount of time, but I have no idea.   We have two boys 9 and 13 and we go to movies together, swimming together, church, to all their events, and many times we take grandma too.   We eat dinner together just about every evening.   We (either my husband or I) have read stories together at bedtime to them since birth and still continue with the 9 year old, the 13 year old now reads his own books at bedtime.   My husband and I both work full time although my husband had his own business which allows his schedule to be flexible to be there for pick ups and drop offs, and he knocks off early and plays with them during weekday afternoon therefore works Saturday mornings when I take over.   They help us with chores, mowing, and we take them to our three different grandparent stops where are visiting them in the nursing home or helping them in their homes.   We feel it is important for them to help out and take the time to learn the history of their family from their grandparents.     They are both going away to some camps this summer, the 9 year old for the first time, so we are noticing that they want to venture out so we are letting them go.   Hopefully our time together has taught them moral values, ethics, and good judgment.  


(a) Spend more time than my parents (especially my father) did with me.   The roles of dads has changed sine the 1950's 1960's.


(a) spend more time with them than your parents did with you

My husband and I love our parents dearly, but as we listen to all of the "I wish we had taken the time to do ___ with you kids," (not to mention that we wish they had, too) we have chosen to devote as much time to our kids as possible.   We coach, we volunteer at school, and we have dinner together at the table at least 5 times a week. We're never home, our house is a wreck and I do laundry in the middle of the night.   However, those kids are only going to think we're heroes for a very brief time.   They will be our priority for as long as they will allow!   I want our recollections to be, "Hey, remember that time we ___?"


(f) I really don't know how my time with my own kids compares to my parents time with me.   But I do know I wish I could spend more time with them to improve on such relationship factors as bond, obedience, respect, trust and loyalty… and that goes both ways.   Kids need better anchors today—the world is getting tougher all the time.

Thanks Nevin.   A very poignant and reflective Father's Day for both of us this year, eh?   A good time to reevaluate.   Thanks for the thought.


(d) spend the "right" amount of time with your kids, even if it is different than your parents did with you.   Additionally, I'm sure my parents had the same work/life struggle I do.


My survey answer is (f), other.   I spend more time than I want to.   The child in question is 28 years old and moved back in after he thoroughly messed up his life.   Maybe that makes me a bad parent.   Go figure.


OK - we'll I'm late with my response but its only 12:55 CST - so almost.   I don't have children so that makes my answer "e". I do find though that without children, the desire to spend more time doing something that you want to do, is not viewed as a good reason to want to spend less time at work.   I've had people say - we'll you don't have kids so why do you care if we need to meet on weekends or stay late to accomplish something.   No - but I do have a life outside of work and I would like to enjoy it - kids or no kids.   My dad worked hard but seemed to find a balance between work and kids. Often when he needed to work on weekends we went to his company with him - we thought that was a big treat.   My mom was probably thrilled to have peace and quiet for a few hours and it never occurred to me until I was an adult - this going to the office was a well planned interlude for her.   Most of the time - I think people find a way to spend the time they really want to spend doing the things they really want to do, but saying you want more time with your kids is a good way to appear to be spending too much time at work.   I am willing to bet not everyone who wants more "time with the kids," would really be spending it with the kids, if they had more free time.


I know I missed the deadline, but I had some comments on your survey.

I can't even compare the amount of time my parents spent vs. what I do because our roles are so different.   My Mom stayed home to raise her four kids and my Dad, a self-employed lawyer, worked 70 hour weeks during most of my life.   At 74 he still works full-time.

As a mother of four kids, ages ranging from 8 months to 9 years, I work full-time as a CFO.   However, I work for a group of family-owned businesses and when I was hired, the CEO and I agreed in a general sense that he would provide me with flexibility should I have kids (I was 26 at the time).   True to his word, I have worked in the office three days a week and have a full set-up at home, where I work 4-5 nights, after the kids have gone to bed.

This arrangement worked well for the company when I was overseeing an operation in Malaysia, as I was the only person involved in the project who actually worked during office hours in Malaysia.   This arrangement has been a source of annoyance to some other management team members but it is the reason I stay.   So, a $40 mil family-owned business gets a Wharton-educated CFO and I spend more day time with my kids.   I don't sleep that much, but every decision involves trade-offs.

My husband was a Mr. Mom for eight years and just this past year returned to teaching high school full time.   I would recommend caution to anyone considering this arrangement.   No matter what their family role, men tend to measure themselves by their success in the workplace.   In my experience, mothers with Mr. Mom husbands still bear the lion's share of responsibility regarding the home and children.   The result of our situation has been significant role confusion, a very sloppy house and an increased income gap.   I think we would both make a different choice if we had to make it now.

I'm interested in reading your results.   Thanks for putting out a great magazine and newsletter!


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