SURVEY SAYS: When Did You Learn "The Truth?"

December 24, 2008 (PLANSPONSOR.com) - I recently asked readers to share how old they were when they learned "the truth" about Santa Claus - who "contributed" to that education - and how that education took place.

The responses, as you might imagine were intriguing.

Perhaps most telling was the fact that more than one-in-five (22.5%) wondered “what truth about Santa Claus?”   At this point, those in that category might just want to logoff – far be it from me to find my way into my own survey….

Beyond that result, there was a definite peak of “knowledge” between the ages of 6 and 7, when 17.4% of respondents learned the truth, while nearly 14% said it was between 7 and 8 years old, and just over one-in-ten ( 11% ) found out between the ages of 8 and 9.  

In fact, it was downright interesting to note the neat little blocks in each of the age brackets; 9.2% between the ages of 9 and 10, another 8.3% between the ages of 5 and 6, 5.5% between the ages of 4 and 5, and 8.3% “sometime after my 10 th birthday.”   Just 2.8% learned between 3 and 4, and the remaining 1% or so were less than 2 (including some who were really never told anything about Santa Claus).

Who Told You?

As for who was responsible – nearly a full quarter ( 24.6% ) said they figured it out on their own, while 16% said “OK, seriously, WHAT truth about Santa Claus (didn’t I tell you guys to quit reading?), and a matching 16% opted for “other” (more on that in a minute).  

Nearly 14% said “heck if I remember,” but for more than one-in-ten ( 11.9% ), it was schoolmates that spilled the beans.   Siblings were responsible in 8.5% of the cases, while Mom did so for 5.9% of this week’s respondents, and Mom and Dad teamed up in 3.4% of the situations.   Interestingly enough, nobody cited Dad (by himself), nor were grandparents, movies, or TV cited.

Now, as for that “other” category, it was truly a mixed bag; “cousins” was a frequent citation, as were kids in the neighborhood ( “Neighborhood kid. Obnoxious little kill-joy…,” recalled one reader), and teachers.   “The babysitter” came up a couple of times (one reader noted, “I was telling my babysitter about this great present I got for Christmas (perhaps I failed to add in the “from Santa” part) and she replied, “Oh right, I was here when your mother went to pick it up.” My mother was so upset, we never saw that sitter again.” ), and several didn’t remember ( “I don’t really remember but probably my older brother who delighted in destroying dreams and confidence and childhood… ,” recalled one reader), while several apparently caught Santa “in the act”:   One reader recalled, “I ‘found’ a hidden doll several months before Christmas morning. I received the same doll as a present from Santa. How did I know it was the same doll, I ‘marked’ the doll so that I would know if it was the same one.”  Another said, “I woke up just as my dad was putting my new bike under the Tree.”

There were SO many great stories that people shared about their experience - and you'll find a goodly sampling on the pages that follow.   But here are some of my favorites:

"My brother ruined it for me by showing me the presents in Mom and Dad's closet, then told me he would beat me up if I told them, and that I must act surprised on Christmas Day. It is very hard to 'act' at 7 years old, but we pulled it off and never told Mom and Dad until we were adults. It was the most memorable Christmas ever, I remember everything I got that year because I was so paranoid about acting surprised so I didn't get caught and didn't get beat up by my brother.

"Actually you'll find my daughter's situation funnier. She was in first grade it was Easter. The mall had an "Easter Bunny". My daughter told me that bunnies do not walk on two feet. I told her that it was an Easter Bunny Helper, like one of Santa's Elves. She then stated in a matter of fact way- "Tell me the Truth" I thought about it for a moment and then I told her the truth. She then said " And I suppose you are going to tell me there is no Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause Either"

"My dad was a fireman and so somehow Santa knew whether or not he would be at work on X-Mas day. If he had to work that day, we always went to Grandma's on X-Mas Eve and when we got back Santa would have been there and we would open our gifts. Dad was slated to work, so we all piled into the car (now there were 8 kids at the time) and Mom & Dad "forgot" something. When we were waiting in the car I discovered I actually did forget my mittens (it was cold in) so I went back in to retrieve them. Looking for Mom, I happened on my parents feverishly throwing gifts under the tree. Needless to say I backed out of the room slowly and never said a word."

"At bedtime, my mother sat at the end of the bed and brought up the subject and tried to convince me I already knew-- "Oh, you know there's no Santa Claus! You know that your father and I do it all!" No I didn't! Obviously I'm still traumatized--I can remember it like it was yesterday."

"I couldn't sleep one time so I walked into the kitchen and caught my father eating the cookies! Plus I noticed my presents were in my mother's handwriting."

"I was looking for something that I thought might be in an upper cabinet in the kitchen. Getting to it took some work on my part. Had to use a chair (before the age of safety consciousness) to get to the kitchen counter upon which I stood to reach the small upper cabinets that were positioned over the main wall cabinets. I rather wished that I hadn't found out."

"I decided than since reindeer really could not fly, there must not be a 'real' Santa Claus."

"I realized something was up when the carrots we left for the reindeer next to Santa's cookies ended up the rabbit's cage."

But this week's Editor's Choice goes to the reader who noted that, "Our daughters, ages 25 and 21, receive gifts from "Santa Claus". They think the gifts are from my husband and I - silly girls."

Thanks to everyone who participated in our survey!   Merry Christmas!

Santa came to visit on Christmas morning and it was my sister(she is 16 years older than me). I felt betrayed and embarrased that everyone knew but me!
Poorly on my mother's part and even worse on my part... I proceeded to interrogate about the Easter Bunny too.
Listening to bits and pieces of conversations, I just started asking questions. I had 3 younger siblings, so my parents were not very forthcoming, but it was so cool to keep this secret from them, and "know" something they didn't.
I was looking for something that I thought might be in an upper cabinet in the kitchen. Getting to it took some work on my part. Had to use a chair (before the age of safety consciousness) to get to the kitchen counter upon which I stood to reach the small upper cabinets that were positioned over the main wall cabinets. I rather wished that I hadn't found out.
Having brother explain the noises coming from the living room on Christmas Eve.
Au contrare' It is my lifelong pursuit to educate others on the existence (internally, admittedly) of Santa. Every year I buy multiple copies of the movies listed above (plus the "Grinch" - the original cartoon version) to give away to unsuspecting little ones (and some big ones too!) so that maybe they'll learn the true meaning of the season....
My education happened by enourangement *(and payment by) my former employer. I worked 40+ hours a week and went to night school 3x a week for 3 years in order to graduate from UC Santa Cruz.
Found the presents in the closet about a week before, didn't say anything, then asked after we opened presents Christmas morning why all the presents we got were in Sears bags in the closet the week before. They came clean. I had just turned 10 but wasn't allowed to tell my little brother ,who was 3 at the time, for another 4 years.
I was telling my babysitter about this great present I got for Christmas (perhaps I failed to add in the "from Santa" part) and she replied, "Oh right, I was here when your mother went to pick it up." My mother was so upset, we never saw that sitter again.
My second grade teacher told us we were to old to believe in that nonsense anymore. Mind you, this was a woman who had been an artist for Disney. Go figure.
I learned "the truth" at the age of 7 and was more devastated that my mother lied to me than I was about the non-existence of Santa.
My older brother dragged me, kicking and screaming, up to my parent's bedroom and shoved me under the bed so I could see all of the gifts that Santa was going to be delivering... but there they were...in my parent's room...weeks before Christmas.
I decided than since reindeer really could not fly, there must not be a 'real' Santa Claus.
I was the youngest of 4 siblings with a 9 year gap between me and the next oldest. I think they did not want me over-excited and underfoot when they decorated the tree so they told me I had to take a nap and Santa would come decorate the tree. Of course I woke up and came wandering into the living room to find the rest of the family decorating the tree. I felt this terrible sense of betrayal -- not that Santa did not exist, but that they would lie to me. I had completely forgotten this incident until the survey today, but fifty years later the memory is still quite vivid.
My youngest stupid brother told me. I was a bit disappointed to learn that Mom and Dad were really Santa Claus.
I saw clothes my mother had made for my Barbie doll before Christmas and then got them as a gift from Santa Claus.
I realized something was up when the carrots we left for the reindeer next to Santa's cookies ended up the rabbit's cage.
On the morning bus to school. The punk with the older brother(s) who lives on the other side of the tracks. He didn't take something tangible like lunch money, but he certainly took something of value.
Okay, just kidding. I really don't remember but I think I figured it out on my own but we (older sister) continued to "believe" so that we wouldn't hurt Mom's feelings, not ruin it for the brother, and still get presents.
My brother and I used to snoop around looking for our gifts. Mom used to hide them in a closet under one of our stairways. I discovered her stash during one of my ventures and found a few boxes with my name on them 'from Santa'.... Unless Santa hit our house a few weeks early, there was no way they could have really been from him. What a harsh realization! And it was MY fault for snooping where I didn't belong! Bummed me RIGHT out!! As a mother myself now, I'm back to believing and trying to convince my 11 year old that he should still believe too. Christmas isn't half as much fun when your kids don't believe anymore....
My older brother told me. He asked if I believed in Santa Claus and I said "no" and then he told me he was going to tell my mom. So I said "yes, I believe" and then he laughed at me because I still believed at age 10 or 11. Ohhhhh, life with 6 kids and me being the youngest was difficult to say the least.
I did it to myself. I was 10 years old and snooping around for hidden presents. On Christmas morning, some of the gifts in my stocking were things I'd found earlier in my mom's closet. Served me right. Fortunately, by that age I was beginning to suspect that the whole Santa thing was a myth - this just put the nail in the coffin. Curiously, though, I still want to believe in Santa and find myself looking out the window on Christmas Eve, straining my ears for the sound of sleigh bells.
I suspected but had no proof. My brother sister and I were supposed to stay in my bedroom so that "Santa could come". I snuck out into the living room and saw "Santa" putting all the presents under the tree. He looked suspiciously like my Dad and his helper lokoed a lot like my Mom.
Found presents in the closet, which I was later told were from Santa.
My brother ruined it for me by showing me the presents in Mom and Dad's closet, then told me he would beat me up if I told them, and that I must act surprised on Christmas Day. It is very hard to 'act' at 7 years old, but we pulled it off and never told Mom and Dad until we were adults. It was the most memorable Christmas ever, I remember everything I got that year because I was so paranoid about acting surprised so I didn't get caught and didn't get beat up by my brother.
I was suspicious, so I woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas eve and saw my parents sneaking gift out of a closet. The next morning my parents claimed those gifts were from Santa, and that's when I knew.
A neighbor kid put the seed of doubt in my mind by asking skeptically how it was possible that Santa "could get around the whole world all in one night." I remember thinking that he had a good point. I was four. From there it was only a matter of time for the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and those singing robot things at Chuck E' Cheese.
Discovered a bounty of presents stored by my parents in the storage well of the family station wagon. I thought I had hit the jackpot!
Neighbor kid said he knew I was getting a bicycle for Christmas as it was by side of the house for couple days - I didn't admit it was gift from Santa. When I asked my Dad, he said he bought it from someone whose son had outgrown it and got a good deal - only $10.
My friend took me to a house. A house my parents had told me to stay away from. He told me not to worry. He said it was called a brothel and that... wait, wrong education. Uh, I found the presents and figured it out.
I had 2 older sisters and an older brother. They convinced me to stay up Christmas Eve and listen for my parents activity, which I did. I heard enough to know it wasn't St. Nick being jolly.
Actually you'll find my daughter's situation funnier. She was in first grade it was Easter. The mall had an "Easter Bunny". My daughter told me that bunnies do not walk on two feet. I told her that it was an Easter Bunny Helper, like one of Santa's Elves. She then stated in a matter of fact way- "Tell me the Truth" I thought about it for a moment and then I told her the truth. She then said " And I suppose you are going to tell me there is no Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause Either"
My dad was a fireman and so somehow Santa knew whether or not he would be at work on X-Mas day. If he had to work that day, we always went to Grandma's on X-Mas Eve and when we got back Santa would have been there and we would open our gifts. Dad was slated to work, so we all piled into the car (now there were 8 kids at the time) and Mom & Dad "forgot" something. When we were waiting in the car I discovered I actually did forget my mittens (it was cold in Wisconsin) so I went back in to retreive them. Looking for Mom, I happened on my parents feverishly throwing gifts under the tree. Needless to say I backed out of the room slowly and never said a word
Found the BB gun box in the garage and confronted my mom. I had been suspicious for some time, but not 100% sure...she confirmed it, but told me to please not let on with my younger siblings. The disappointment ended quickly, now that I was "in on the secret". However, the real disappointment came when I quickly realized I wouldn't be getting money for missing teeth!
In conversation with children in neighborhood.
I couldn't sleep one time so I walked into the kitchen and caught my father eating the cookies! Plus I noticed my presents were in my mothers handwriting.
My best friend at school actually first told me about the tooth fairy because she found notes hidden in her parents drawer. Santa was discovered very soon then. My parents were so upset at me friend they didn't want me to spend any time with her for quite a long time. I guess I learned that while it is fun to play Santa, I will accept the day when my 3 boys learn the truth as just a part of life no matter how they find out.
Never believed that there was a Santa Claus. Same for wife and kids. The biggest trouble with the issue for myself and our kids was not spoiling it for other kids. One daughter, in particular, got in an argument with a 1st grade teacher and it really upset her since the teacher was telling her she was wrong when she knew she wasn't. My grandmother was confronted with a 2nd grader in her teaching days who stated that "if there isn't a Santa Claus, then there isn't a Jesus either." I think that was the start of our family tradition of avoiding the "deception". We have always been concerned with truth and equity relating to Christmas and wanted the focus to be on Christ rather than gifts.
I was standing in the hallway at school and another student told me. My reply was at least the Easter Bunny is real.
I will never forget the shock I felt when she announced to the class that our parents were actually Santa! A couple of my classmates started crying and the fur flew at the school when we went home and confronted our parents - many of us at the time had absolutely no idea and our parents were livid!
I must have know something was up because for months I started to ask questions about it. My mom had the best answer ever, "What do you think?". For a while I kept saying I believed in him so mom said "well there you go". I remember it quite clearly. I was around 10 or 11 and my father had passed away within that year. One night mom and I were talking and I was almost testing her and I said I didn't think he was real. She went on to explain that although Santa isn't a real person, he represents innocence and the full believing of a child. My next question was, "well what about the Easter Bunny then?". Her response was classic. "Picture your dad hopping around the house at 5am in his underwear hiding eggs". Although I was a little disappointed, the her comment had me laughing so hard.
Saw my mom and dad putting presents under the tree; that did it for me!
We decorated the tree on Dec 24th with everything except the star (Santa put the star on the tree). That year my mother asked me if I wanted to put the star on tree.
At bedtime, my mother sat at the end of the bed and brought up the subject and tried to convince me I already knew-- "Oh, you know there's no Santa Claus! You know that your father and I do it all!" No I didn't! Obviously I'm still traumatized--I can remember it like it was yesterday. MEAN!
I just remember thinking there was no way this fat guy made it down our little, teeny chimney carrying all those toys!
I really do still believe in Santa. My father's sister gave me my first Santa when I was 9 months old. I still have him (50 years). My house becomes a wonderland of Santa during the holidays. I have Santa everywhere, even Santa Finials on the tops of my livingroom lamps.
My son, who will be 13 next month, insists he still believes in Santa. Could it be because if he doesn't that's one less gift for him under the tree? Hmmmmmm.....
We've been able to keep the magic going a little longer thanks to the Elf on the Shelf. It's a little elf you buy (along with a book that tells the story). The Elf comes after Thanksgiving and stays until Christmas. He moves around the house each day, and the kids are forbidden to touch him. He reports to Santa each night on who was bad and who was good. It helps! He's a mischievous little guy at times (tosses underwear on the ceiling fans...TPs the Christmas tree), but then he settles down. He leaves notes for the boys periodically, and they enjoy trying to find him each day.
With all of the problems in the economy and layoffs at my company and so, so many others out there, I all too often think how good it would be to be able to go back to that 'age of innocence' - children don't realize how good they have it....
In my house we live by the rule that if don't believe you don't receive. That way everyone stays in the spirit.
Our daughters, ages 25 and 21, receive gifts from "Santa Claus". They think the gifts are from my husband and I - silly girls.
I remember we had a terrible time with my 13 year old cousin, she figured that since there was a "real" St Nicholas then there had to be a "real" Santa. I finally was the one that had to try and rationalize it out with her! It was NOT a fun conversation, but one that I remeber to this day. It is especially poignant since she passed away at age 54 this year.
I just realized it but it didn't bother me as I recall. It was a very long time ago.
My best friend tried to convince me every year that there was no Santa, by showing me the presents his parents had stored in their clothes closet. They didn't try very hard to hide the presents. I refused to believe him until I saw for myself that my parents were doing the same thing.
My daughter figured out the "truth" by herself at about age 4 when a neighbor came over on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa -- she said: "Mom that wasn't Santa, that was our negihbor. And, I'm sure there is no Santa, but I won't tell my friends because they will be upset." And, as they say, so it goes...
My Mom told me when I was little that when I stop BELIEVING he'll stop coming. I'm 40 and I still believe!

«