A Little Friday File Fun (04/17)

April 17, 2009 (PLANSPONSOR.com) - They say that a picture is worth a thousand words....

But this week we’re mostly offering only words….enjoy!

AND IF IT’S FRIDAY- – – then it must be time for – – – THE FRIDAY FILES – – – In New York City, New York , Border Patrol agent Rene Soliz had pleaded guilty to smuggling charges – – –   after a U.S. Customs inspector at New York’s Kennedy Airport intercepted a package bound for Rene – – – a package labeled as containing 50 live scorpions – – – which, as it turns out, would be illegal to ship in – – – however, when a U.S. Fish and Wildlife inspector opened the package from Tanzania, he found inside not scorpions, but …14 live leopard tortoises and one dead leopard tortoise – – – unfortunately for Rene, it’s also illegal to ship them in – – – since they are considered a potentially threatened species – – – and cannot be traded without an export permit – – –

– – – In Grand Chute, Wisconsin , an unnamed 39-year-old woman was awakened when Scott D. Cross, 23, entered her house – – – spotting him standing in her hallway, she demanded to know what he was doing – – – at which point Scott decided to depart – – – but his potential victim set off in pursuit – – – tackled him – – – and, when he put his hand near her face – – – bit down on his finger – – – hard enough to push one of her teeth outward – – – now, Scott got away – – – but his potential victim came away from the encounter with enough blood and skin to process a DNA sample – – – which led to Scott’s arrest – – – who has now been charged with burglary and bail jumping – – – both as a repeat offender – – –

– – – In Milan, Pennsylvania , Johnny Hensley, 43, was being arraigned in Erie County Municipal Court there – – – where Johnny was pleading not guilty to a driving under suspension charge – – – the ticket he had been issued supposedly listed him as weighing 190 pounds – – – and, apparently, deciding that a “picture” was worth a thousand words, Johnny decided to prove that he didn’t weigh that much (and thus that he wasn’t the ticketed person) – – – by dropping his pants in front of visiting judge Gus Nunez – – – that may or may not have been the best way to make his point – – – but it earned him a misdemeanor contempt of court charge – – – and some jail time – – – – oh, and the ticket in question, which allegedly had Hensley weighing 190 pounds, actually listed him as weighing 158 pounds – – –

– – – In Kansas City, Missouri , three unnamed men went to steal a skid-steer loader – – – but got stuck in the mud – – – where police later found it – – – and followed scrape marks left on the street to a trailer – – – that had been towed by the suspects’ vehicle – – – and found an empty truck nearby where they found the trailer – – – and near that in a field they found the three men hiding – – –

– – – In Athens, Georgia , an unnamed man – – – met a woman at a nightclub there – – – a woman who, he said, agreed to return with him to a nearby hotel and make a certain “exchange” for $100 – – – a woman who, he said, disappeared with his pants when he stepped into the bathroom to finish getting undressed – – – a man who, it was reported, dressed in a black polo shirt and boxers – – – approached an officer and complained about his sad plight – – – a man who, the officer said, didn’t want to give much (more?) information – – – and was very drunk – – – and who, it turned out, had an outstanding warrant from a nearby county – – –

– – – In Albuquerque, New Mexico , Byron Shane Carpenter, 30, was arrested there – – – after the local office of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) got a tip that Byron’s obituary that ran last month in the Albuquerque Journal was a fake – – – police found him hiding under a pile of rocks outside Capitan – – – Byron has been charged with homicide by vehicle, great bodily injury by vehicle, and aggravated driving while intoxicated from a 2006 crash – – –

– – – Near Halsey, Oregon , Paul William Kizer, 23, drew the attention of fellow motorists – – – and eventually police – – – after a series of erratic moves on Interstate 5 (this about 10 a.m.) – – – multiple officers followed the driver and slowed traffic – – – as Paul first threw a baby’s car seat – – – and then various pieces of clothing out the window – – – at one point, he tried to ram a disabled vehicle on the freeway shoulder – – – and eventually tried to drive over the dirt center median mound but got stuck – – – at which point he exited the vehicle – – – and stripped off his shorts – – – leaving him in the altogether – – – Paul’s now been charged with felony attempt to elude in a vehicle, DUII, reckless driving, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest, driving while suspended – – – and possession of less than an ounce of mari.juana – – –

– – – In Poulsbo, Washington , an as-yet-unnamed man strolled into and robbed the Kitsap County Credit Union there – – – he stood out because he was dressed like a “she” – – – with a black pantsuit, white shirt, and white shoes – – – however, he’s been dubbed “the Man Hands Bandit” because his large hands belied his outfit – – – you can see him at   http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2009/04/15/2009059027.jpg

– – – In Fort Smith, Arkansas , an unnamed 28-yeaer-old man drove a pickup truck through a fence gate at the airport there – – – drove 100 yards and attempted to reach a parked airplane – – – witnesses told police that the man said he needed to “get to Israel” and that he had “all the answers” – – – except for the one that might have made all the difference – – – the plane he was rushing to get to – – – was missing its propellers – – –

– – – In Navestock Parish, Essex, UK , the Navestock Parish Council has a unique plan to slow down speeding drivers – – – what it terms the “original traffic calming measures” – – – not filling in potholes for a year – – –

– – – En route from Alice Springs, Australia , recently a Qantas jet had to be taken out of service – – – when it was noticed that the plane arrived in Melbourne with eight baby pythons – – – the problem was that it left the ground with TWELVE baby pythons – – -it was first suggested that maybe the missing four had become lunch for the remaining eight – – – which were weighed, but apparently found “wanting” – – – they never did solve the mystery – – – but they did fumigate the plane – – -so, as a spokesperson said, “…if these snakes ever turn up on one of our aircraft, they will be very much dead snakes” – – –

– – – And finally, in Gainesville, Florida , Jonathan James Sweat, 18, has been was charged with driving under the influence and damaging property – – – after he drove his Ford Ranger through the front window of an office there about 3:30 a.m. – – – Officer Steve Carter noted that Jonathan failed three field sobriety tests – – – and was taken to the police department for observation and breath tests – – – which did not show any indication of alcohol – – – at which point Carter said that Jonathan spontaneously “stated that I wasn’t going to be able to arrest him for DUI because he hadn’t been drinking. He then stated that all he did was smoke some marijuana” – – – oh, and the window he crashed through – – – it was the State Attorney’s office – – –

Have a GREAT weekend, folks!

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